You’re on Christmas break and are finally getting more than 4 hours of sleep every night, when out of your beautiful slumber, you’re awakened by your Twitter app notifying you for the tenth time this week that four people you could care less about just followed one other person you could care less about and have also probably never even heard of.
So WHY did your Twitter app feel the need to notify you about of this at the break of dawn?! Or at all for that matter? Apparently, when the application updated last time, they actually ran out of ideas for new things, so they chose this. Well, I’m here to say that it is honestly the most pointless thing they could have added, and I have plenty of followers who would also agree. Twitter, if you have a “new years resolution,” I strongly suggest adding the elimination of that to your list.
Snapchat is a fun app where you can talk to your friends using quick snap-shots of yourself, who you’re with, the lunch you’re eating, and so on. You can also create videos and send them to your Snapchat friends, and it’s incredibly simple and fun. Or it was, at least, until they added the dreaded “My Story” feature. “My Story” shows up at the top of your friends page on your Snapchat application and it features the mysterious maybe-video’s that are super loud and embarrassing to open in public, maybe just a lame selfie someone I haven’t spoken to in months took, of all of your friends on Snapchat. What ever happened to the concept of sending them to specific people? Was it really too time consuming to touch an extra dot on the screen of our touch screen phones? I’m sorry, but I do not want to get a notification about your “story” and have to look at your selfie or the video of your dog chasing his tail just to get rid of the annoying notification at the top of my screen. I’m sure you probably feel the same way about me, too, which is why I’m saying please, for the love of Snapchat, leave your “story” in 2013 before I up and make a resolution to go Snap-free in 2014.
I remember when social networking first began to take over our lives when I was in middle school. I was convinced to join Myspace to keep in contact with my class-mates pretty much any time we weren’t in school.. which was pretty cool, because I had my “about me” and my own Myspace blog, photo albums, profile music, top friends, bulletins, and all of that neat stuff conveniently placed on one site for just my friends to see, so that they could feel like they knew me better. And then Facebook came along and crushed the whole thing, because it was new and innovative, and it was good-bye personal Myspace and hello burden of a Facebook.
I’m literally somehow friends with my friends friends moms. I’m sure you are, too. I get so many daily requests from sketchy looking dudes from somewhere near my hometown who heard of me from someone who used to know someone who went to high school with me. I can’t write about my feelings because there’s no blog feature and a status just isn’t the place for all of that. My “timeline” is bombarded with pictures of the children of 16 year old parents, not to mention the “My baby daddy didn’t pay his child support again” status’ of some of my “friends.” I honestly do not care that your newborn pooped and it was oh so precious and special, or that you’re “in a relationship and it’s complicated.”
Really? If we were truly actually “friends”, couldn’t you just call me and tell me about your complicated relationship? Why not use your social media to let your ACTUAL friends get to know you better, and if you have stranger “friends,” at least fill their timeline with something insightful. Half of my Facebook friends wouldn’t even say hello to me if they saw me out in public today. I’m thinking Facebook in general will be as quiet and empty as Myspace within the next few years, because it is something that my friends and classmates are constantly complaining about. There’s a large part of me that wishes we could all leave the virtual friend request in 2013 with the wedged sneaker and Miley’s tongue.
That’s all for now, and I hope you all have a wonderful 2014, virtually and in real life.